I Am A Tool: Confessions of a girl who needs a Raven Pubcon T-Shirt

Here I sit on Thanksgiving Day.  Coffee in hand.  My voice has almost come back from the dead after being dragged through h*ll in Vegas for Pubcon 2009.  I’m getting a pass at peeling potatoes for the moment because “I just HAVE to get this post written” before we eat.  I can’t do the written word any justice in a tryptophan induced coma now can I?  Because I am definitely *not* using this as an excuse to stay out of the kitchen I should get to the point eh? (Cheers to my Canadian friends for passing me that little gem that I cannot shake)

Why am I missing out on the fun in the kitchen?  Well you see, the brilliant, talented and expert SEO, Miss Kate Morris happens to have something I want.  She’s held a contest to give me the chance to win it as well.  This is my entry to win one of the limited edition PubCon t-shirts from Raven SEO Tools.

Let’s start with the facts.

1. I do not have a pubcon t-shirt
2. That makes me sad
3. That also forces me to wear other conference shwaggy-t-shirts, thus making me look like a tool to those in the Pubcon “know”
4. I don’t like looking like a tool
5. I’d rather use a tool

Here is me looking like a tool in other t-shirts, thus proving my need for the Pubcon shirt:

I mean really?*

We can do better than this!*

Huh? Blech*

Using Raven Social Monitor, the only tool I want in my life, I have put together a little demonstration of what my life looks like now – pre pubcon t-shirt:

My Life Sentiment As A Tool

As you can plainly see, the sentiment surrounding my existence is very poor.  Awful in fact.  This is unacceptable.

This is a forecast of my projected life if I were to win the Raven Pubcon t-shirt (again demonstrated by Raven’s amazing social monitoring tool):

My Life Sentiment Using Tools

As you can see, there is a vast, VAST, difference in the sentiment surrounding my tool-ness when looking at whether I am in possession of a Raven Pubcon t-shirt or not.  My life sentiment would go from awful to AMAZING!  Please do not allow this insanity to continue! I beg of you to please not allow me to walk around looking like a tool.  Wouldn’t you rather see me using a tool.  An amazing tool.  Like the Raven social monitoring tools for example?

I leave it in your hands now Kate, to do what is fair and just and right.  I know deep in your heart you know the right decision to make.  Think of this as your moment.  Your moment to rise to the occasion.  Surely you remember The Never Ending Story?  This is your Southern Oracle!

You Must Do The Right Thing - Or The Oracle Will Not Let You Pass

*No harm, mal-intent or hate is directed at the companies represented on these t-shirts.  They were simply the ones on the top of the pile in my conference t-shirt drawer.  You’re all good enough, smart enough and gosh darnit, people like you!